Hello
I have a sense of how you feel, but as with all depression it is individual so no one can really know your pain.
I have been battling my demons for about 15 years and like yourself nothing has been able to break the cycle.
For me the day usually starts OK but as time passes I get worse and worse.
My general feeling is that I need a much better support system. Some one to keep me going when I start to falter.
I wish you success in your battle