Thank you for these responses. I feel overwhelmed with all my sudden emotions lately. I grew up with such a list of qualities I expected myself to have, but I really just covered up my own feelings for a false subsitute of “strength”. I am just even coming to terms with the idea that crying isnt a weakness, but I have tried to be so strong my entire life. But I feel really alone now. I have a great partner, who was my best friends for years before we started dating, and he has a great grasp on his spirituality which is what drives me to understand my own. I have so many mental blocks that I am starting to see I have places throughout my life. I am a big fan of yoga, but meditation is really hard for me. I just can’t seem to shut off my mind! I am starting to realize my mind completely consumes me. I can’t keep my mind clear for more than a minute. All with past or future or completely made up realities. I am causing myself so much pain for figments of my imagination. I feel like I’m starting to see all these ribbons dancing around me, but it is alot to take in.