Hi, Anita!!

Thank you so much for your advice!! It differs greatly from a lot of my beliefs, so it definitely made me think about and question my morals, in a good way! 😛

I guess the thing about me not having a relationship with my parents, period, is I feel like I owe them something. These are the people that gave birth to me, fed me, clothed me, and did everything and are doing everything they can so I can have the best life possible. It doesn’t feel right to cut them out of my life, and I don’t think I could live with myself if I did. Despite everything, I love them a whole lot…

My parents are both of Indian-origin, so they were both raised by parents who regularly hit them. In my dad’s case, he had a really close relationship with his parent’s anyways, and it didn’t affect him a whole lot (ie, scared or resentful of parents). I think he always viewed it as an act of love/discipline/”I’m doing this for you” kind of thing. As messed up as that is, I honestly I believe his intention was never to hurt any of us.

With my parents and love, I think their definition of love has always been really twisted in their own lives. My mom was sexually assaulted as a kid, so I think that’s where the overprotectiveness comes from; a place of fear for my safety that is ultimately love, but a scared,  hurt love. My dad has always struggled with expressing his emotions, and being in the now. He is a really intellectually smart person, and I think sometimes his brain is almost too intelligent to focus on the little things, if that makes sense.

I guess what I’m really trying to say is that I really, really believe my parents have always done their very best. I don’t think they’ve ever once come from a place of malice with me or my sisters. And while that doesn’t make any of their mistakes okay, for me, it at leasts means I can’t cut them out of my life. They’ve loved me as best as they can, and that best hasn’t been enough, but I love them for doing their best, and for trying, and loving and raising me as well as they know how…

Honestly, I don’t think the fact that my parents don’t have lives outside of me and my sisters is a good thing at all. They’ve devoted this portion of their lives to us, and it’s not healthy. I wish it wasn’t like that. Even so, they do it out of a place of love and good intention.

Thank you again for your advice <3 I’m sorry this reply was so contrarion!! I just really want to thank you again for the different perspective!