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FiaParticipant
Hi,
I sent you my email. Did you receive it?FiaParticipantHi,
Thanks for replying. I ran 8 miles a day 5-6 days a week since I was 18. I also went to the gym. I also went to dance classes , sometimes in the same day, sometimes on the one or two days I took off from running. I am vegetarian . I was also in therapy since 18. Two years ago I was found to have hyperactive thyroid. I was given radiation and then had hypothyroidism. Though I slowed down a lot I still push to exercise. I was always outside. The feelings however have always been the same. Emptiness, confusion, not knowing what I want , and being very needy yet shutting
People out. I am 41 now, I will say it has gotten not worse but different since 2 years when my thyroid went under. Before I had tons of energy and anxiety and severe bouts of depression leading to overdoses as I could not handle emotional pain. Now, it’s just plain fear and sadness . I don’t drink enough water this is true but everything else I did so how is my brain still not functioning correctly after twenty something years?FiaParticipantCan I understand what Buddhism believes about mental illness. I am labeled with Borderline Personality Disorder. Basically, I live in a world of emotions , mostly depression, regret, grief and I guess all negative emotions. There was a time when I had more hope. When I traveled, yet even then there were very bad moments, when I danced, when I ran. Now, I do these things less. I am very unhappy and I am told it is because I haven’t been responsible in therapy. It has been twenty years of therapy. For my condition only one kind has been proven somewhat effective, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and it costs a fortune. My point? I am tired. I have overdosed over 15 times in my life due to pain and suffering and everyone tells me it is only me that can stop it while at the same time telling me I have a brain disorder. I’d like to know what Buddhism would say about this as I feel I have lost my life to it. Thank You
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