Dear Anita,

Thank you very much for your reply and sorry for not replying sooner. It’s been a tough time and I am not feeling any better, it’s actually worse. I have been overwhelmed by anxiety in the last few months and fear of the future, uncertainty etc and this has led me to make a big change in my life, I have decided to  move back to my home country because I can’t handle living abroad anymore, or at least that’s what I thought the problem was. I have been feeling very lonely and the thought of continuing to be alone in a foreing country had become too scary. But moving back to my home country is even more scary as I have lived abroad all my adult life and I would feel as much a stranger as I would feel in a place I have never been before. My parents are getting older and I don’t have any brothers or sisters to help me settle in and it would all be on my shoulders with many difficulties to overcome. I am telling myself that I am making my life harder that it could be and I don’t need to do this. I thought this could be the “solution” to my unease and anxiety, achieving more stability back home, but I don’t feel it clearly in my heart that this is what I need, I feel like I have let myself give in to fear and anxiety and work stress. I am overwhelmed by doubt, I feel I should have just taken a deep breath and soldier on. My life where I am was not bad. It was actually more comfortable in many ways as I live in a big city with everything on my doorstep. I feel like I had everything going for me and I am just giving it all away because one day I woke up and started feeling dissatisfied with my life. I feel ungrateful and now realise how hard it’s going to be to rebuild my life in a place I have been absent from for too long. And I won’t have anybody to help me. It’s scary. My problem is that I feel stuck because no matter what I decide I feel this anxiety and gloom about the future is not going to leave me. I was so happy with my life until a few months ago and then I started worrying about the future. I thought I can’t continue to live this life, single, renting with friends in a city where everybody comes and goes. I am in need of a change but the change needs to happen within me, I shouldn’t look for a solution outside. I can’t talk to anybody about how I feel because I have been down for too long and my friends all have their problems to deal with. I had a good friend who lives far away that has helped me through some tought times a few months ago and felt better for a little while (when I thought I had it all figured out) but now I feel down again and I can’t go crying to her again. People eventually push you away when you are depressed and bring negative vibes into people’s lives. They mean well but they have to think of themselves first. I know I need to grow up, get a grip, make a decision, suck it up and move on. I have never felt this hopeless in my life. I thought I was on the path to a good life here, but then I let fear and stress get the better of me. I am in need of some words of comfort, support and hope please…thank you