You can analyse your feelings and emotions, of course. It is a part of self-compassion.

But try not to analyse others. If we analyse others, we can actually demean their truth and experience. Because when we analyse others, we do it through our own lenses. We project our truth and experience on them. While in reality… we don’t really feel and understand them…

Isn’t it compassion to accept people as they are without trying to fix them?

Knowledge does not equal understanding (when we speak about people’s psyche).

Life’s experiences, feelings and mental formations and how people experience them are completely different. We shouldn’t try to analyse others and try to explain what they feel. If we do it, we don’t understand them on a deeper level. And without this kind of understanding, there is no compassion.

🤗 😇

Please, go ahead. Tell your story. ❤️ I haven’t been uncomfortable with any topics you started. It is your way to self-compassion. And it is accepted and understood by me. No fixing.

Please, respect that this thread is about self-compassion.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

I wonder. When I am in presence of too dominant people, I also freeze. But I am not sure what the source is… I connect this to my introversion and slow thinking.

I call “dominant people” those people who are loud, agressive in speech/act, very moody and always in the mood of attacking (gossiping, judging, you say “A” and they have to say “B” just only to have a reason to oppose and argue…)

Alessa, I do understand. I find it especially hard to get in touch with my inner child. It still brings a lot of sorrow. I believe that we need to go through this stage to be free in the end. ☀️ 😊 I am trying to think about these sad moments in my life in this way. It brings me some comfort and contentment. Sad moments, pain, sorrow are neccessary too. We cannot move on without them. So, I no longer try to avoid painful memories but to process them with understanding and compassion. And step by step the sad moments are weaker and weaker…

I found this interesting article by Hanh: Healing the Child Within

Anita, thank you a lot. Have you ever thought about the ideas of strength, weakness, success and failure?

Alessa, I didn’t notice your last post at 4:09. I’ll come back tomorrow to answer to you.

Meanwhile Anita (and others) can share some experiences, thoughts and support. 🌼

Looking forward to you!❤️

Hello Alessa and Anita,

yes, I agree that my childhood could shape my need for flexibility. But at the same time, I believe that we are not tabula rasa and our genes also determine what our personality will be like. I know that I was happy in independent and flexibile environments even before being bullied. The same applies to my introversion.

I believe that this is also a very important part of my internal validation – to accept that this is me. I am not only a result of some external – mostly negatively perceived – “influence”/”force” such as the then education system and my parents. I find my introversion, sensitivity and need for freedom as a part of my true self. 😊 And it is a part of self-compassion, as well.

In my opinion sticking to rules, plans and goals can bring more of dissapointment in our personal lives. If we cannot follow the rules, achieve the goals, we might feel as a failure. And it is then more stressful than beneficial. Of course, it depends on context. I do like following the eightfold noble path because I can see it makes sense for my life. I agree with these rules because they lead to becoming a decent and kind person. I don’t see any troubles here. However, I don’t punish myself when I cannot follow the rules. I am a human being with flaws… In this context, what is important for me is the effort.

Being flexible brings me more feeling of being free and independent. “Okay, this didn’t work. I can find another way, another solution.” There is no evaluation, measerument of success or failure. I feel happier because I have more possibilities and freedom in choice, I guess. I’m a person who prefers to react to a situation rather than plan it. And when the plan is wrong… just imagine… so much energy, effort and time invested in following a plan, while I might have missed something great because I didn’t notice it at all because of blindly following the plan. It is again about the context. 🙂