Dear Dear Ann87,
I read your conversation with anita. I am so sorry about what you are going through. It seem to me that you are dealing with narcissist as I too was in similar relationship before. They are master manipulators and leave you in a state of real confusion where you loose sense of reality. It is called “gaslighting”. Here are great websites that helped me to realize what is going on. http://lucyrising.com/ , http://esteemology.com/spotting-a-narcissist-how-to-get-the-best-return-on-your-emotional-investment/
The Real Self, The Ideal Self and the Codependent Self
Good luck to you. Hope you sort through you feeling and find a man who truly loves you for who you are.