Thank you so much for all of that. Today I am going back to one minute a time, never mind one day! And starting to try and be kind to myself. Describing it as being addicted to his chance of recovery, to him changing if I just loved him enough makes absolute sense. And I know I will be grieving the loss of what I believed could be…I am right now. Maybe he will find it on his own, maybe he won’t. He’s been so absent and it’s been so hard ‘walking on eggshells’ when he HAS been around that I know rationally part of this is relief. Unfortunately the rational side of me is having to shout very loud at the moment to drown out the old habits of thinking and believing in the hope of better…but you have given me some positive strength and some hope for MYSELF for once. Thank you,
Jenny