Hi Deborah,

I’m new to this website and just came across you post, but I immediately felt the urge to tell you my story.

About 2 years ago after dinner I suddenly couldn’t breath properly, my heart started beating way to fast, I felt sick and I didn’t have a clue what was going on. From day to day those symptoms returned, got worse and lastet longer – and everytime I thought I would die within the next few minutes. Normally I’m a very optimistic person, but in those situations I couldn’t imagine to live with it much longer. I went to see the doctor, but he told me I was perfectly fine, next step was hospital, but even there they couldn’t find anything. I was desperate! And scared! Whenever I was alone there was this thought in my head – panic coming back, I’m probably going to die, no one here to help/ to call the doc – and it made me go crazy!!
When I was just about to surrender and get myself into a psychiatric facility I found a doctor who could help. She diagnosed me with some food allergies (wheat, cow milk, sugar) and told me my breathing difficulites and increased hearbeat would be just an allergic reaction. I was soooo relieved!
But that didn’t really solve my problems. I was in fear of those panic attacks and did everything to prevent them from turning up again. When I did some sport and my heart started to beat a bit faster it fellt like the whole fearful situation would be happening again. So I started to always feel my heartbeat and its rate – which made me completly nervous when not in “normal mode”. I had troubles falling asleep as I couldn’t control what was happening with me while asleep. When out in a bar or something like that I couldn’t finish my drinks, I was soo afraid someone would put drugs into my glass… I stopped eating raw veggies and fruits, only because there was this question in my mind “what if I react to a carrot in a similar way as to milk?!” When I had meat it was already far from well-done and my boyfriend had to try it first and reassure me there was no risk in eating it and it tasted like normal meat. No more fish (could get dangerous under certan cicumstances), no salad out of the garden (grass pollen could stick on it which could lead to breathing difficulties), eggs only when cooked for a minimum of ten minutes (salmonella),…. I stopped taking any kinds of medicine, even the birth control pill just because I was too afraid of reacting to them. You see, pretty freaky and crazy behavior!! But I couldn’t change it…. Only one thought and I was in fear again and could already feel how the air got thinner…

Therefore I can totally understand how you’re feeling at the moment. But hey, I’m still alive and feeling way better, so you can get over this too!!!

I’ll just tell you what helped me getting through this rough time..
1. Calm down!!! Everything will be fine again. It will take some time and you’ll need to be patient with yourself, but the good old times are definitely coming back!
2. Everything happens for a reason. And this is good! Accept yourself with all the fear and don’t blame yourself for behaving that way. Try seeing your phobia not as a threat, but as a challange life is giving you. It can help you grow and find yourself.
3. There’s an amazing book which helped me a lot. The Healing Power of Illness – the meaning of symptoms & how to interpret them by Ruediger Dahlke. Dahlke is explaining ilnesses as something that helps us to become whole. He’s also writing about why you have a certain illness and what your body wants to tell you through it. I guess it would be a good read for you too as it could help you see that getting sick doesn’t always have to be a bad thing.
4. I went to see a psychologist to help me eat all the things on my black list again. He didn’t work wonders, but he encouraged me to push myself to my limits and to have faith in myself.
4. My doctor works with homoeopathy and she gave me homoeopathic globuli to take whenever this nervous feeling is coming back. They helped me a lot, especially when I started eating things I’m allergic to again. At first only the thought of eating a peace of cheese made my heart race, now I can eat small amount of dairy products.
5. Believe in yourself! Trust yourself! Never give up!

There will always be some ups and downs, but that’s life. Just let yourself time, be patient. Rome wasn’t built in a day neither! I’ve always had some steps forward and the next one was backwards again, but that’s okay. I can tell you I’m enjoying life now more than ever! I’m more relexed, optimistic, gratefull for so many little things. This whole story really was a tough time for me, but now I’m thankful for every single day, it really helped me grow.

Hope this helps you at least a little bit and brings some hope back to you!!

Wish you all the best!! 🙂

Doris

• This reply was modified 10 years, 8 months ago by Doris.