I am not always the best at advice and when I read your post, it felt like it had been me writing it. Almost the exact incidence happened to me. And that is why I know you are going to be alright.
I suffered from depression and, also four years ago after the breakup I was given this book When things fall apart: heart advice for difficult times -Pema Chodron
Changed everything and because I am not the best at advice but completely understand your head space right now I recommend looking at this book. There is even an audio book online. Please give it a go. It will help I promise.