Thank you for your reply
I forgot to say that 3 years ago right after the incident I apologized to my brother about it, but I am not sure if he remembers because we were younger at the time.
Also, how can I stop dwelling about this? I understand that I have to be ready to apologize, but when I do this, I am ready every second of any day to apologize and once again I think of the incident
I understand crucifying myself wont help, but my brain just tells me I did something so bad, and that I am different from everyone else, I did something worse than eveyone else.