Wow for me too it feels like it could be me writing that. I have struggled with this for years, while also doing a lot of “self” work and really growing as a person, knowing I’m much more than my ego. And what Hurley said, I really appreciated his candor I agree with that you really can’t give yourself to someone if you don’t have your own “s*it” together. Sometimes it’s possible for people to grow together but it sounds like you and your husband are on different pages, like me, or not even in the same book. We have a beautiful, loving 10 year old boy I’m scared to death of hurting, but I know he is already. I think we are probably codependent, and I have not yet found the courage to believe I could take care of myself, financially etc. Yes on the outside things look great at times I feel guilty for feeling so unhappy when objectively there’s no “problems.” I feel like I failed in life even with all I know and the knowing that’s its just my warped perception. There is no real intimacy of any type. Sorry not helping but I was really amazed your story is so similar to mine.