Also if future interactions demand estrangement or going out of contact I will not hesitate to implement it. Thanks for being kind and supportive

Llove light and prayers

Krish

Dear Anita
I am currently studying and still not settled. I feel always let down by my family and always they undermine and disrespect me. I understand that I had a toxic father who was not available most of the time when I was growing up and he was subtly controlling. My sibling was always the favourite and my parents made decisions for me. My parents brought me the matrimonial proposal and I chose what was best at that time with two alliances and I made a wrong choice. My parents were not okay with the proposal and I still stood ground and got married . But it was wrong decision and my parents blame me for that. According to them they are always right even when they make wrong decisions. I felt controlled and had low self esteem and even now I am dependent on them as my life circumstances make me that way. I lost my mother to cancer and also my dad never understood my mental health . I moved away from them as I am starting a new course in a foreign country . But still my dad says that my sibling is my saviour and I should be gifted to a sibling like that. I feel let down and also they never include me in any financial decisions or never disclose the financial investments in the family . My father said that I might lose the property due to my irresponsible nature as according to them am a spendthrift

Since I am called irresponsible I would say that my dad can give all his property to my brother and I honestly don’t want this anymore and get more put downs and insults

my self respect makes me feel that I should renounce the property for good and get estranged from my father and sibling though they support me . I never felt included and want to steer clear of dramas

I don’t want their money as I will work hard in life to stand on my two feet and my self respect makes me feel that I should never contact them

I am happy being single the rest of my life and also am not a materialistic person and I want to lead my life in peace . I don’t have dependents and am a minimalist

one thing I can’t tolerate is dramas and putdowns. I had enough of toxicity in my life . Though my father is subtly toxic I can see where I subconsciously picked abusive partner from. I attract narcissists and emotionally unavailable men- my ex was one . I have closed that chapter for good

please suggest me what should I do to ensure am at peace. I don’t want to rely on them not even for a single penny

Dear Anita

Thank you so much for the support and help. I will make sure that I will let go of  people who create dramas for petty issues and who exhibit disrespectful behaviour and have no regard for others feelings

I am at peace and secure within myself and don’t have the energy for dramas.

Thanks for the support once again  and am looking forward to read more posts of yours

love light and prayers

Gayathree

I mean my in-laws ( my exs mother and father ) said that he is not at fault and his uncle and aunt( my mothers in-laws sister ) said that my ex is at fault

Dear Anita

Thank you so much for the response. I have blocked her and one of the other friends as well. I pray that I don’t come across my ex and his friends and family in my life anymore. I want to forget those years of my marriage and I know that these don’t define me. If she really meant well for me ( I do give benefit of doubt), the only thing I can do within my capacity is pray for her and her family.

These days other people’s( my ex inlaws and their extended family )validation and approval doesn’t affect me. I trust my conscience. People try to manipulate me by saying that they have issues with my exs family because they took sides with me and supported me. I said to them of lately that in a domestic violence scenario there is no room for taking sides as the perpetrator will abuse for petty reasons and is unreasonable.

It is a way of making me responsible for issues in their relationship. I don’t resort to manipulation and told my ex inlaws and husband’s opinion doesn’t matter as they have reasoning impairment.

Thank you for the acknowledgement and your lovely approval for my suggestion for someone’s post. I will continue to post and respond if it is within my domain of knowledge.

Thank you for being very supportive and I am happy to be part of this forum.