Hi! Thank you for your response. Maybe i should have been a more clear about what you point out.

We aren’t in a “give a try” mood anymore as he decided to stop before even something could start so technically he doesn’t “owe” me responses or conversations anymore. However i don’t really understand his attitude, he stopped everything because he doesn’t feel comfortable (I get he’s scared about comitement and certainly everything went to fast for him). But, our last chats were more than friendly, it was the same kind as when we started to flirt a few months ago. Ok, why not. But suddenly he became distant since last friday. Why this changement? We had great conversations, many things to talk as usual and now, he’s almost ignoring me after insisting to keep in touch and engaging almost all the chats with me. At first i thought it was because he met a new girl but the point is, since he decided to stop he haven’t met someone new. Plus, i really thought that being friendly together was what made him feel the more comfortable. And i know for sure he spends all his time at home except maybe once or twice to see his friends from high school.

I think for him “queer” is more related to the definition of “strange, which doesn’t correspond to the traditional social norms” rather than the sexual context of the word (i’m not totally familiar with this term honestly, i refer myself with what he told me). In the sens that, he has a lot of traditional “feminine features” (his clothes sometimes, he likes to put makeup etc) but he really identifies himself as “cisgender male and heterosexual”. He told me he tried men once but he didn’t like it and this is when he realized he was definitely neither gay nor bisexual. Interesting point here, is the fact that he was the one who brought his sexual identity as topic first, “yeah many people think i’m gay as i know i look very feminine but i’m not”. After a few weeks he talked about him feeling like he belongs to the queer community but i think it’s something which is still very new for him as well.

He doesn’t have many experiences, neither sexual nor romantics. Funny thing, we were extremely open about what we liked, what we knew, how many partners we had before. And through what he told me during this conversation, i spotted we didn’t have the same experience (sexual either actually). Plus, his last “relation” was one year ago and between me and this one he didn’t have one. I know i can trust him about what he told me.

I know he’s extremely introvert as well. He doesn’t really like to go out and for him, i quote “the perfect date is outside, in a forest with a pic-nic”. He spends a lot of time alone, playing music, sewing, woodworking etc. Before we ever started to date we had a group project and we worked with two of his group of friends, this was during our chats i learned more about his hobbies. He has the combo anxiety + introversion + kinda depression.

He clearly scared himself with the idea of committement, i feel like he acted in a pure “fight or flight” way. But i don’t understand what was missing between us. We had/have a great chemistry, attraction is/was here, we can talk for hours and hours. I tried to be as much supportive as i could be during his family issues, i was even ready to stop for a while everything in order for him to rest. So i really don’t get what happened, he’s not a player, nor a cheater, he’s actually the contrary