Life, I am in the same boat as you are today. I have experienced extreme pain and suffering for the same reasons. And I still suffer. I have read so many blogs, self help books and everything else what I thought might give me some respite but none of that lessens the pain. None of that takes away these feelings of sadness. But I try. Each day.
I try to distance myself from the source of my suffering. And it sometimes feels impossible because the source thrives within me. Sometimes we love certain people not ‘for’ who they are but ‘despite’ who they are but those people fail to realize that. I did not expect this person to love me back, it was how I felt for him, I understood fairly well that he didn’t necessarily have to feel the same way for me. But he still hurt me, unprovoked. I could never find the answers to it. And oh how brutally I was hurt. I still shudder at the thought. Sometimes it’s hard to understand why people whom we love so dearly hurt us and turn into total strangers. Life isn’t what these self help blogs say, life is what we are experiencing at the moment. Your misery will last as long as you choose to prolong it. Take the first step, for yourself. Start letting go of things, slowly, no matter how painful they seem. I am doing the same and yes I am in pain and I cry every few hours but I also know I am slowly trying to heal myself. I know I cannot forever cling on to someone who ‘chose’ to humiliate and hurt me, I know I cannot hold on to that person no matter how dear he is to me. Holding on only brings pain. Let go and set yourself free. At least try. I am trying too.
And be good to everyone despite your bad experiences. That is important.