Hi Anita

i think he is a messed up individual for sure, he admits that himself to me also. He always said that when he is with me it brings him to a place that he wants to be and it makes him want to be a better person. But it always comes back down to his children. He said that he always knew something wasn’t right with his wife, like he has not been himself around her. I think she is highly critical of him.

I know in my heart that he hasn’t been playing me, I truly believe he loves me and would be with me if he could.

I don’t believe in staying in marriage for children’s sake. There were rows infront of the children way before I came along. If he wasn’t there she wouldn’t be able to do it.

But none of this matters as he is staying with her.

Mags

Hi Anita

The way he reacted was enough to at the time never want to speak with him again, he said he was leaving his wife and his heart was with me, he told me that he had made that decision and then two days later that was gone. I have theories Of what made him come to his decision one being that his wife did not throw him out, two that his wife reacted so badly he couldn’t care to leave the children or three that he felt sorry for me and at that point thought he needed to stand by me. He had it all planned. When I met him he appeared to have it all clear in his head what he was going to do, he had even just been to inform his boss.

Whenever I spoke to him he just cried, he told me how his daughter and climbed into his bed that night and begged him not to leave. I guess that would be enough to make you stay! I don’t blame him.

Thank you Maya

He is trying to fix his family and I want him to do so but I also know this is for his children and not his wife. This leaves me with the hope that he will leave her. Many marriages end and fathers have a good lives with their children after! I know this because I have a similar situation where my partner left me and got someone else very quickly, I don’t doubt they were having an affair prior to us splitting up but it was over for us so it didn’t affect me.

in terms of my affair partner we worked together for many years and fell in love. He left the job and got another over an hour away. He also lives at least a 45 minute drive away from me and yet we still couldn’t stay apart.

I do have a son his 15 and not so dependant on me. I am looking for new employment for reasons I am not sure I should share on here but also some of my colleagues recently found out about the affair and I struggle to face them. I am trying to fill up my life with things to keep me occupied and busy but I’m also facing a very tough situation and am struggling to deal with that on top of all this. One of things about our relationship was that a cuddle was enough to take me to a place where I felt safe and rested. I feel terrible saying things like that but it’s true and I know he feels the same.