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malachy

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  • in reply to: shattered heart #281561
    malachy
    Participant

    writing my book for closure.

     

    and working on achieving my goals

    I enjoy being single but I am hoping one day in the future once achieved my goals someone will make me feel like this again as it was beautiful feeling.

     

    thanks for your help Anita x

    malachy
    Participant

    hey Shelbyville

    I feel soooooo deeply for you it’s a horrible feeling. I had anxiety myself from the age of 12 till I was 25 which then got postnatal anxiety and post partum to from a break up.

    I tried going to a doctor and they told me the worst for my case was go to a therapist or take medication. I started reading up about Buddhism and spending more time in nature. digging deep into myself to find out who I truly am and what I actually enjoy and then spent my free time doing this.

    it’s very very hard to be alone when you have such a long time being inseparable with somebody you have deep feelings for. it’s like losing a limb.

    but you havnt and it’s just change and as humans we don’t like change and we have to readjust, change routine, in a way change our aspects in life. and it’s hard really hard but as humans we are the strongest mammals in the world and there’s more to life.

    I found after 3 years I loved being by myself. I’m still grieving now over somebody else but hey there’s lots of positives in your life too.

    I read on a reply from you that you come from a loving family, imagine if you didn’t. your family clearly know you and understand you more than anybody, spend more time with them so your not on your own, try and find a forum where you can meet people in the same situation and build each other up.

    I know it sounds and looks easy to say I know it’s really not, but taking one step at a time is not going to hurt you, making a change is not going to hurt you.

    as humans we go through life going 1000 miles an hour and we miss out what actually positive because we’re so used to them and focus on the negatives because they are more dramatic.

    It’s good to feel emotion and it’s good to get them out if you didn’t you then would be strange…you say it’s been 15 days…wouldn’t everybody still be upset and down over a relationship break up. hell its been a year since my relationship broke down and I still think about him everyday and can’t move on. but I don’t want to. and the last thing on your mind should also be moving on.

    your grieving give yourself a pat on the back for speaking out your feelings and don’t even think about moving on except for with yourself…write down your goals for the year, emotionally, physically, work, achievements.

    and work on them don’t give yourself blame or Greig and the year will fly by.

     

    good luck and I really hope I’ve helped even 1% ?? x

     

     

    in reply to: shattered heart #281551
    malachy
    Participant

    hey Anita

    yeah I know and I completely understand his decision I have a child and settled where he wasn’t he was 3 years younger than me and never had a relationship. I believe that he was truly in love with me but I also get that it was very early stages to make such a big choice maybe if the opportunity had came later on input relationship it wouldn’t of happened of how it did..

    truthfully I was a bit of a dick lol we went out for several drinks with a group of us and would cause arguments about it. I would cry and blame him. I would act sometimes cold because sort of a wall came up after being hurt badly 4 years ago and never been near man afterwards I sort of got anxious and acted the wrong way. but that was only for about a month before he went away the relationship was for about a year so we did have all the good times while it lasted but then it hit me.

    I know I pushed him away at the end but I was trying to get the separation subconsciously and only see now that I did that.

    do think about him everyday and usually its just because I hope he is okay andhappy and miss the friendship we also had but there’s the odd times I just feel completely shattered.

     

    x

    in reply to: shattered heart #281535
    malachy
    Participant

    hey Anita

     

    Thanks for your thoughts…

     

    they were exactly mine at first as I didn’t react well to this.

    but after looking back when we first started speaking we had a conversation about the future and what things we would want to accomplish in life. and one of his was to travel to Australia and work on a farm. he never said when or whether he actually was.

    after a few months when he told me I reacted really bad but once I spoken to him he told me, he didn’t realise it would be so soon but the opportunity had arisen and he didn’t want to let it go. I guess if it had been longer the decision would of been to stay and even for a couple of months he was debating what to do. and even though he said he loved me with everything he had. there’s something he has to do before having any commitments.

    sometimes I thought that’s bull, but other times I thought you know he’s right.

     

    x

     

    in reply to: shattered heart #281501
    malachy
    Participant

    thank you so much Mark.

    It is a very difficult situation. and that’s why I feel to write a book would only make me feel like everything is off my chest and wil feel like closure. but also I think it would help others to as I would hate to think other people are going through the same.

     

    thanks again! x

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