First time posting but I wanted to contribute to this. I am 47 years old and a lot of what the OP is saying rings true to me as well. The part of the conversation that struck me was the statement, “tough it out a few more years.” I tried doing that at my last job; hated as early as three weeks in but ‘stuck it out’ for almost four years. In the end, my frustration grew to the level that one day I just turned in my keys and ID badge and walked out the door.

I do not regret doing this, but there have been consequences. Aside from the obvious stuff about breaking a contract, not having another job lined up, etc. the worst thing I’ve had to deal with so far has been the damage staying there did to my confidence. I knew for years it was sucking the life out of me, yet I stayed and stayed. And every day I approved of myself less and less. Now I am trying to figure out what to do next without making the same mistakes I made four years ago that got me into a crappy job I didn’t like or want in the first place.

Interestingly enough – and here is some caution for you as you decide what to do next – I’d had a similar situation happen previous to taking THIS job. I was a teacher for ten years and burned out to the point that I decided to quit (at the end of the year like you’re supposed to) and ‘chill’ for two years (very fortunate that I had the funds to do this). I was 40 years old at the time. But, I felt guilty for just doing nothing, even though no one was pressuring me to do anything, so I decided that to make this break from work look legitimate I would go back to grad school and get a master’s degree in my teaching field. I figured it would give me a reason to be unemployed that was acceptable to my friends and family, and at the end of my break I could just slide right on back into my chosen profession and everything would make sense to everybody. Except the entire time I was getting that master’s degree, I absolutely hated the courses, was bored by the subject matter, and could have cared less when fulfilling my internship hours. I had ZERO interest in what I was studying, but I just HAD to look responsible to the outside world, so I went through with it, and then got the job I’ve had the past four years that I hated from day one. And now here I am, unemployed again and once again facing what to do next with my life and trying NOT make the same mistake of trying to do the “right” thing that will just backfire on me later.

As you can see, this whole fiasco came about from me making my life decisions based on what I believe I was SUPPOSED to do in the eyes of society and my environment. I cannot afford, emotionally, to make the same mistake again. Slogging away all these years at a career that insulted my intelligence on the regular and frustated me to death on the daily has taken a huge toll on my self-esteem, and at times right now I don’t even feel confident enough to LOOK at job listings, much less apply for any. I wish I’d been honest with myself way back when I took that first break, and spent a lot more time deciding what I personally wanted to do rather than just trying to maintain a certain image to the world about what was going on.

If you are on the wrong path, one thing is certain – life WILL knock you off of it, again and again, until you stop on the side of the road, sit down, and LISTEN to what the universe is trying to tell you. I don’t have answers for that part because I am going through it now myself. And my brain is so muddled with so many years of others’ expectations that it is hard to hear my own voice. But I know I can’t make the same mistakes again, so even if I just become a private tutor to avoid the personal conflicts I always have with administrators when I teach in a school, I am going to start there and continue to seek out what my calling really is.

I feel these things get harder and harder to do the older we get, and it feels really critical to me that I get this mess sorted out NOW before it’s too late. Although I guess it is never too late as long as we are still alive. God knows that for me, at least, whatever my real desires are for my life cannot be ignored forever. Until I listen I’ll continue to experience the conflict and unrest that I don’t want to go through anymore.

Good luck to you and sorry this was so long.