Hi all,

I have been following this thread and been debating to comment.  This is the first time I have posted on this site, but have used the site awhile for inspiration.  I suffer from depression and severe anxiety.  I just recently got divorced from my wife of nearly 25 years.  Our only child decided to forego college (which would have been paid in full by us) to become a United States Marine and will be deploying to the Middle East this coming January.  I have our longtime dog who is aging and in declining health very rapidly.  Depression runs deep in my family and I suffer from it pretty regularly.  My challenge is I worry constantly about the future and the “what if’s”…to the point it sends me so far down the rabbit hole it prevents me from counting my blessings.  The what if’s are plentiful – what if my job gets bad and I lose income ( I am commission sales), what if something happens to my son, what if I lose everything…… you get the idea.  I have never seriously contemplated suicide, but I have many times hit that low point of feeling hopeless….tired of this crippling way of thinking dragging me down.  I now live alone with my aging dog.  I even worry about her dying!!!  I do have a strong support system with my siblings as many of us live with this disease.  We all inherited this from my father.  He has tried suicide 3 x and failed each time thank God.  Today he is 84 and thriving.  Saman you are not alone.  I am a highly successful business professional without financial problems, but my biggest worry has been that I will lose it all.  I feel it is all happening now.  When in reality that is not the case.  I am experiencing spme significant loss in my life right now, but not all is lost.  I have learned to be an advocate of my own physical and mental health.  I wanted to share my story because we all have our triggers or life experiences that take us to those dark places.  If you have not sought therapy I highly recommend it.  Do it first for yourself ….. take the steps as hard as they may be AND do it for your daughters.  Trust me my friend they are worth fighting for!  I am in the middle of a pretty dark struggle right now and writing this has been very therapeutic!  You are not alone.  I am not sure if this is helpful, but I too am here if I can be of any help.