Dear Anita, it is possible I agree, to try and practice in moderation. The only reason I wish to really embrace detachment is because I feel I am suffering due to it. This suffering over the fact that this person, because of their nature, is feeling closed in because he wants to experience change and different things all the time… I don’t want to be the cause of those feelings. I want him to be as free as possible. I just want to be okay with whatever happens, which at this point I am not feeling on a day to day basis. You know how they say that the harder you hold on to something the more likely it is it will run away from you, well I feel I am holding on too hard and he is starting to want to escape. He hasn’t mentioned this but they are my own feelings that come instinctually. I could be wrong but your instincts rarely are.

And the issue is not that I don’t allow him to do things, not at all. He can go anywhere at any point, the issue is more like the fact that because we are always together, there is no room for anything else. And I think because the fact I don’t have many options in terms of friends here, he feels obligated to always be with me so I am not alone. I truly believe he needs and wants me to be the one to separate a little and take time to myself, so he can do it without feeling guilty, but the thing is I am not the one that is unhappy with the situation so I haven’t so far because if you are happy with something there is no motivation to change it.

I’m not sure I am making myself understood very well. It is hard to get feelings out into words when you barely understand them yourself. What I am trying to do now, is make new friends and just get involved in activities outside what we are doing together. The problem is that I am not feeling very happy in my day to day anymore because of this, and knowing that you are the only person that can make you happy, I am not sure what to do to get that back again…