Hi there i can relate so much to this and im trying to get help for the exact same issues. i might actually be a bit worse because ive broken off with my then bf currently Fiance too many times to count but he has stayed with me but its still very difficult. i think the most important thing is to identify your triggers knowing these is halfway through finding the solution to the problem.

I come on here and read articles on mindfulness when i feel as if my mind is taking me to places where i am not grateful for this amazingly wonderful man i’m about to marry. Like most recently we’ve been talking about my traditional wedding  i’m African btw so we have dowry/lobola to be paid we are currently in different countries and so the plan is for me to move to where he is  eventually but he has always maintained that we would do the dowry thing first and theeeen have our white wedding. So im going  down to my home country in a few moths and he says if my immigration papers arent ready he will come down to our native country but no mention of traditional wedding so at this point my mind is like giving me red signals and i ak him outrightly are you having second thoughts but this a man that goes over and beyond to show me he is all for me. the reason he hadnt said anything that was because he was tryna get all his ducks in a row so that he has enough money because we are currently in the middle of paying of some huge debts that im fully aware of. i feel so stupid cause of what i said but he knows how my brain works and was asking me what triggers all this… man i need help on this too 🙁