anita, thank you also for taking the time to reply. i agree that connecting is really important and i’ve isolated myself so much in the past few years of my life. when it comes to connecting with others i do at times but i have these really intense feelings that i don’t always understand and feel unstable, i haven’t ever experienced a long-lasting fulfilling friendship or relationship due to my own internal struggles and part of me feels like i’ll never have that, like i’ll never overcome this emotionally instability and intensity but i’m just taking it day by day right now and making baby steps to build those types of relationships i hope to have one day. thank you again for reply and hope you have a happy holiday season <3