New user here; and here because I cannot turn to anyone else. My ex was my best friend. He was everything to me and… as stupid as it sounds, I don’t want to admit to friends and family that he broke my heart for the simple fact that I hope he changes his mind, and should that happen I don’t want them to think bad of him or see him differently.

He he broke up with me because he says that he’s unhappy with his life. That he couldn’t stand seeing me happy and him taking out his frustrations on me. To be honest, I have been his punching bag. I let him take out all of his negative feelings on me, and I did it with a smile, just because I loved him. And in the end, he still decided life would be easier without me, because then he wouldn’t have to worry about hurting me. Did he ever love me? Was it all a lie simply because I was good to him, gave him a place to live, and literally took care of everything for him? After two years he’s decided that I no longer fit into his plans. I haven’t spoken to him in two days and it’s been the worst two days of my life. I missed work, I never miss work, and I’ve been a disaster. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, and I keep wondering if he met someone knew and just didn’t have the courage to tell me. He said he loved me, even called me his future wife, but now this. He’s abandoned me. He told me that I’d be okay, I’d be happier without him. And that if I think him leaving me would be easy for him, then I would be wrong. But he did it. He left, and I’m here. Alone, feeling worthless, and completely broken. I feel like giving up; but I read somewhere that when you’re down and out to look at your feet. Look at your feet to remind yourself that you’re still standing. I did that, but it’s still torture. I’m broken, and feel like nothing will ever help me. My happiness is gone, I’m so hurt.