Thank you Blaice.

I never really underlined and put into perspective what “HSP” meant to me but as I process it more thoroughly I begin to understand that it is exactly me. I’ve always been a sensitive person in many more ways than I cared to realize. I suppose we adapt to our problems or our problems impede us in functionality.

Real men can express emotion. It does not downgrade masculinity, nor does it showcase femininity, it’s in our human nature to be able to feel each emotion in their entirety. I suppose at one point in time I thought it showed weakness to express emotion, it exposed a side of me that felt foreign. A side that my mind deemed unnatural. I believe it all falls into the category of how you were raised as a child. Some where love was always present, some not so much. There is much cause and effect to this correlation and to how one is in the world right now. A family should exemplify love, trust, freedom, compassion and so forth.

The ongoing issue with my ex’s family and myself is very burdening. I do feel like it’s restricting me in getting over the girl I love. I do say that loosely, as I’m in love with her, and it’s hard to, as you said, purge someone from your very existence. She’s impacted a part of my mind so intensely, so drastically, that her memories will carry with me for a very, very long time, if not forever.

My ex’s grandma, whom I’m very close to insists on keeping me up to date with her life and her status. I’ve insisted on keeping it to herself, and even if I do ask, refuse. I’m weak in that area. I want to know what shes doing, but it benefits me in no way. Matter of fact, it just hurts. I’ve denoted their house as negative energy now. As a place where I’m hurting myself. My intuition is telling me to just let them go. To move on and to contact them when I feel comfortable doing so. They’ve become so attached to me that I’ve tried time and time again but they insist on keeping me around. And like a dog to its owner, I foolishly return. I’m pushing myself over and and over again. I have to go have dinner with her tonight because I couldn’t say no. My mind is telling me the only answer I need to know, to let them go. But I can’t stand to hurt someone I care for, who cares for me. It pains me knowing that this is my only option. It hurts even more that my opinion seems to have to no value, my feelings, state of mind, and everything else means nothing! It’s all about them. Meanwhile I’ve lost the love of life. Asides from this I’m doing great haha. Everyone’s battling something in their lives.