Hi anita

I was quite busy during the holidays so I didn’t have enough time to answer and because we had Internet problems. But anyway I never really knew I am that much mature though a lot of people do notice it and told me that as well, and yes you are correct, many people, esspecially those my age misunderstand another person’s benefit of friendship and instead would rather be enemies. In this day and age people get more sensitive as we try to make them feel happy or even say a joke that’s not even that offensive but what can we do? it’s their problem… I’ve avoided them as many times as possible and it works really well, I never really cared about them though but they have attempted to pick on me when I don’t want to associate with them.

Something in my mind keeps telling me that me and Sam will be the best of friends one day but I didn’t believe it whatsoever but day by day I find myself always hanging out with him and said “the power of me thinking of the future always works”. He only started noticing me during the time at the school camping trip and we said nothing to each other but “hello” “goodbye” no conversation going. It was only recently during exams (which started in late May) we started to get to know each other and joke around, I’m feel very happy and free from the dark times when I’m with him more. However, he also has a big circle of friends in which he invites me to that makes me feel awkward because I don’t know anyone else but him (and his other 2 friends) and he’s constantly talking to he’s other friends while I stand there feeling lost, both his friends which are Logan and Philip get along with me too but I don’t talk to them as much these days as I used to, let’s just say they’re both my aquaintances there are also other girls whom I’ve tried talking to but seem not interested so I have to deal with that.

Anyway, I’ll try my best looking for a counselor soon

Hi there anita:

Im sorry I replied a little too late, you know so much about my problems of loneliness here in high school and since you suffered the same thing, I can say that we have a lot in common during our high school years. And yes at times I just try my best to hide my anger away from those who see me so that I can at least get to know some people well, but in a school like mine everyone splits into their social groups and ignore new comers in their group because they are not used to talking to others and of course that makes the new comer feel unwelcomed and uncomfortable, looking for a trustworthy counselor might be a challenge because where I live there’s a only a few of them, but that I’m still working on.

At school there are no counselors to look for and they are only available outside of the school, and although time is passing I still feel that hurt inside me and there are people whom I get along with but I’m afraid to actually tell them my personal problems and because I feel that they’ll think it’s unexpected of me to talk about something like that to someone when you’ve just met them recently. This boy I met, he’s name is Sam and he kind of has the same issues with his friends ignoring him but that is only when they’re busy with something or that there are just playing with him, it’s also difficult when you are depressed for more than half a year and then you suddenly get along with someone because someone like me who is depressed doesn’t know how to react properly when they receive love, I’m still trying to see if he’s emphatic though.

And remember it’s hard for me to get that opportunity to actually address this to a psychologist or a counselor and my parents are not really paying attention to appoint me to one, so I’ll need to look for one myself if this problem goes on further

And yes those classmates that I referred to earlier? Almost everyday they are on my case and has turned into an issue of bullying now that gossip has become a trend and making fun of another person’s appearance is another trend. An example of what actually happened was that other time at lunch break, I bought my lunch from the tuck shop and as soon as I was trying to find a table to sit down on, I walked past that particular group of girls I’ve always been annoyed with and they all kept quiet an gave me that stare of “oh, here comes that weird girl, what does she want with us?” But I’m not even going to sit at their table because I know very well I’ll be miserable by those girls at the end of the day. So I’d just sit by myself, never saying a word almost the whole day.

I need to work on my anger but they need to work on their way of being victimized for no reason, and really thank for your help and concern, I’m happy that people like you are addressing about my personal problems and I’m actually surprised to get so many replies by people who actually do care about issues that are hardly being noticed by the society, I’m so very happy I’m receiving so much attention from here I’ll never regret my choice to express my deep feelings to a whole wide of a community whom are suffering from all different kinds of personal issues with others receiving love and care and emphathy from others.