Hi there littlered!

I read your post and decided to create an account to reply to you.

I feel like I can relate to your words as I, too, feel somewhat “guilty” and “indebted” if I ask people or even close friends for tiny favors that are as small as borrowing a stationery. When I was a kid, I had also always got the latest video game or toys, without knowing that actually we were not well to do. I had only known after growing up, when my mother told me.

However, I felt a connection to what you said – that you felt guilty asking your parents for things, and I guess that could probably be because of your politeness and ability to think for others as well. I, too, always tend to think to a greater extent when asking for favors, like – is my colleague gonna be needing this stapler anytime soon? Should I return it as soon as I can once I’m done? What if it spoils when I’m using it? How is it going to be replaced if it’s spoilt? Questions like these pop up in my mind because I feel “shy” to be getting favors from others because I’ll be thinking – why should they help me?

And when a colleague does me small favors, I will be ready to be doing doubly more favors back because I feel “indebted” to the person. Are you like me?

I wouldn’t classify your thoughts as “shame”, like you have said. I believe you are a nice person who just doesn’t want to bother others.

The childhood memories and phobias will always have an impact on your adult life, no matter what stage you are at. Just remember to always let it make you a better person and to have empathy towards others who may share the same background as you.

I wish you all the best. Cheers!