Dear Anita,

Thank you for your prompt reply. Your explanation of how thoughts have no power over really resonated with me because the fear that had felt when those negative thoughts come to mind “could it be I don’t love him anymore” has been very painful. I’ve been better lately but I have even lost weight over the stress that it has caused me. I understand the fear comes from the love I do feel for him and that the thought was produced by a moment of stress. I want to be able to find tools to separate these feelings and not allow my head turn them into a reality because it almost feels like the thought has the power to change me. I had a previous relationship where I broke up with the person after 5 years after having this “thought”. I also come from a broken marriage and I’ve had my mom tell me “relationships are not forever…” I know this hasn’t helped when I’m reminded now of these events.

You mebtioned:

“Very important: do not be in any rush to get back the in-love feeling, don’t even try. It will be counter productive. Resolve to feel what you do and not feel what you don’t. No forcing feelings.

How do I control this? We are on a 2 week long trip now, it’s been a week already and I’ve had good and bad days. But I feel like I’m constantly looking at him and looking for reassurance to erase that negative thought I had from my head completely. I feel guilty for doing this. I yearn for the moment things go back to normal.

I love this man and it hurts me to have been questioning this for almost a month already.

we get back home and in two weeks we will have our home to ourselves again I hope this helps. As I feel like my territory has been compromised too. That hasn’t helped and that’s precisely when the thought first came to mind.

I really appreciate all your advice.

Thank you,

P