TheAwakening-

I was just referred to this site by a friend and started browsing through the forums. Your topic was one of the first I selected to read, as I too have struggled with the question of whether or not to revisit the past in order to heal old wounds, or leave it where it lay and just focus my efforts on the present and intentions for the future. Little did I know when I opened your post that I would be looking pretty much directly in the mirror. I too was raised in a very strict born again Christian household. I too, as a child, was the victim of abuse by those who were supposed to be revered as “holy”- in my case it was sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse at the hands of my own father (a pillar in the church) and youth counselors. I too know the pain of being isolated as a child, not being allowed exposure to “secular” media (radio, tv, movies) and had no friends outside the church. I was blessed with introspection and intuition as a youth, and when I began to question the teachings at 14, was thrown out of Sunday school and shunned by the church and most of my family. I am also 31 years old. The paralells between your experience and my own, and how I got to your post lead me to believe even more in cosmic law. Thank you for your courage to post about your experience and question the right path for you to attain serenity and fufillment now in the present.

From my experience, there are two schools of thought on the past. Some therapists say to leave it where it lays and concentrate on now. I have tried that method for a long time, but found that the past continues to haunt and rear its ugly head in ways that affect my thinking, and therefore behavior in the present (conciously and subconciously) I have personally gotten to a point, by following my intuition, that I must address the issues of the past- acknowledge its existence, the effect it has on my present life and how I’ve coped with it to date, so that I can forgive, heal, rid myself of negative coping mechanisms brought on by the past, and truly move forward so that I can leave my past where it truly belongs- in the past. I firmly believe that if I do not go through this process, I never be able to feel whole, serene, and fufilled. You are a strong individual. You are beautiful. You deserve to forgive (forgiveness does not endorse other’s bad behavior, but gives you the gift of release) I believe those same things for me. Although the road is difficult, the reward is priceless. Follow your heart, follow your intuition.

With Love and Light-

PhoenixLotus