Hi Joshua,

Thank you for sharing and must I say it really helps to know that guys can feel jealous, too. I do feel insecure from time to time about my relationship. Sometimes I worry we’re too weak and emotional because we’re two girls. I sometimes fantasize being in a heterosexual relationship just so I can be weak and emotional and have a man to lean on to but this only happens in my darkest hours. Most time, I’m happy that I am independent but when I’m feeling particularly beaten, I can’t help but thinking of this other life that could have been.

You mentioned about limiting beliefs about myself and this is totally a new thing to me. Do you care to elaborate? How does one deal with those beliefs?

Thanks!

Hi Jasmine,

You say judgmental, I say opinionated 🙂 potahto, potayto, lol…well in all seriousness, I appreciate your insights but I must speak from a place of truth in order to be of value. So, while I absolutely agree that happiness comes from within, I have always wondered how does one distinguish between being content and being in denial?

I am all for finding inner happiness but how do you do that and still keep growing? It looks to me that once you’ve reached that state of inner contentment, it’s like you stop growing / evolving. And sometimes, it doesn’t feel honest to me, like you’re only saying you’re content as an excuse to avoid pain and hardship because you’re afraid to get out of your comfort zone.

About the negative belief / self-limiting labels, I call that being realistic (potahto / potayto, haha). I’ve read other replies mentioned about this, too and actually this is sort of new to me. Again, how to distinguish between what is negative and what is real? Am I not allowed to feel bummed about being discriminated against for being in a same-sex relationship? I’d like to know more about this negative / self-limiting labels thing, if you don’t mind.

Thanks!

Hi Beth,

Please accept a hug from me, I can’t even begin to imagine feeling this way for 33 years. I don’t have the same pressure as you do because I don’t have a family to provide for, however I do have other things that make me feel like I have the odds stacked against me. I am an expat so to change jobs is not as easy for me and there have been strong anti-foreigner sentiments in the past few years that make me feel like a moving target every day. And even though I’m an introvert, living in a foreign land can be very lonely at times.

From your story, I think the size of the company, the type of job you have, and the amount of income you earn only have negligible effect on your happiness. We’ve all heard about people who took a big pay cut to work at a “niche” job and found happiness but I think that’s not always the case, as evident in your story. I think it’s ultimately something entirely detached from physical provisions and more to do with how we connect on metaphysical level with our job, colleagues, and surroundings.

I sincerely wish you’ll find your way out someday =)

Thanks, Smiggleton.

I’ve tried telling myself to just do as what clients / bosses say, just stop fighting, stop thinking as long as the money keeps coming in, I thought my life would be easier that way but while it may save me from a confrontation or two, it also exactly what makes my soul dies a little bit each day.

And then there are building codes that started off as a way for the government to provide better standard and safety for its people, but has now become more of a ridiculous set of rules for them to avoid lawsuits.

Everywhere now where I live, beautiful cobblestone pathway are being replaced by smooth asphalt because some idiots are suing the government because they fell while jogging there. Whatever happens to people taking responsibility for their own lives?

Thanks for rooting for me, I’ll carry your words to heart.