To continue a fulfilling relationship with this man you have to accept him just as he is, otherwise walk away or else you will end up ‘investing’ more time, not getting the results you want, and resenting him.

He loves you, deeply. To show your true love, accept that he is very close to his family, accept that he loves his niece, accept that he feels responsible for his family and like to do things for them and with them. His relationship with his mother is not sick, it is what it is.

Your cultures and upbringing are very different, try to connect with so of his sisters and see how men behave within his culture. To find happiness with him, you will have to walk into this situation with your eyes wide open.

He is not going to change into an American / western man. Even after marriage and kids, you will not walk off and be an independent nuclear family. He will still be very involved with his extended family. He is anxious because he wants to be with you but feels like he can’t be himself because of the demands you are putting on him.

You are a decent loving person, I can tell, but ‘putting your foot down and making demands’ only works for a while. Take some quiet time for yourself, look at this situation as it is, ask yourself if you can live for the rest of your life as things are right now. If you can then stay with him and make the best of the situation because he does love you, if you can’t, tell him, walk away and don’t look back. You are torturing each other.

Sending you love, peace and clarity.