Moongal,
Thanks for replying. What people think doesn’t matter to me as much as it used to. In a way, it’s like one worry was completely replaced by another. It’s just that there are certain things we’re particularly protective about, maybe in anticipation of a personal attack. To me, the piercing marks represent my life at that time (bad memories associated). I gave this more thought and I realize I do not know if it is their judgement that I fear the most or my own.
I like the way you see it. They don’t care about it nearly as much as I do. Rather than trying to come up with some way I could look or sound proud and self-assured, I’ve been thinking about the piercings and what they represent to me. They don’t really represent anything to people other than myself, that’s just personal association. I’m trying to think of the objects as simply objects, trying to dissociate the objects from the emotions they may invoke.
As for socializing, I’m in my comfort zone. I also think that not socializing so much saves me from a lot of frustration, rejection, and disappointment. I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety when I was younger, but I don’t think I have SA. Thanks for the book recommendation, I’ll give it a look.
Answering your question, my fears on a scale of 1 to 9 as I couldn’t think of 10 things:
1. Communicating with an authority of any kind; 2. Walking past a group of teenagers/young adults; 3. Public speaking; 4. Crying/having a mental breakdown in public; 5. Meeting new people; 6. Being surrounded by a group of people I don’t know very well; 7. Being asked personal questions (especially things I’m super defensive about); 8. Hurtful comments about my intellect, mistakes or mental affliction (being criticized, judged or humiliated in public); 9. Stumbling upon someone who treated me badly and or had witnessed one of my mental breakdowns and kind of figured I was mentally afflicted…