I am sharing another beautiful (and useful) part from the book:

Beginning Anew is a practice to help resolve conflict or a difficulty when it arises. To begin anew is to look honestly at ourselves, at what we have thought, said, or done that has contributed to the conflict. This can help prevent feelings of hurt from building up and defuse difficult situations. It is a practice of recognition and appreciation of the positive elements within ourselves and the other person.

First we begin anew for ourselves and then we can begin anew with the other person. We can practice beginning anew with our partner, parents, children, friends, or coworkers. The practice has four stages: “flower watering” (expressing our appreciation), expressing regrets, expressing hurts, and asking for support.

1. FLOWER WATERING
We look deeply to see the positive qualities in the other person
and express our appreciation for them. Share at least three
positive qualities that you have observed in them and things for
which you feel grateful. Be as concrete as possible. Sometimes
we may need to water someone’s flowers for a long time to heal
the relationship and build trust before we can express what has
hurt us. This is an opportunity to shine light on the other’s
strengths and contributions and to encourage the growth of his or
her positive qualities. Our loved ones and relationships are like
flowers that need regular watering to stay fresh and alive. If we do
not water the other person’s flowers, our love or the relationship
may wilt or die.

2. SHARING REGRETS
We may mention any unskillfulness in our actions, speech, or
thoughts that we have not yet had an opportunity to apologize for.
When we have recognized how we have contributed to the conflict
or difficulty, we can apologize right away.

3. EXPRESSING HURT
We may share how we felt hurt by another, due to their actions,
speech, or thoughts. Before expressing a hurt, be aware that most
of our perceptions are wrong. Often our difficulties and pain
originate in the past, in early childhood. By looking deeply we can
see that our pain and hurt come from the seeds of suffering within
us and not from the other person. You might also ask for a third
party that you both trust and respect to be present to hold the space.

4. ASKING FOR SUPPORT
When we share our difficulties with the other person, we help
them understand us better. This enables them to offer the kind of
support that we really need. We may be currently under a lot of
pressure at work or school. We can ask the other person for their
understanding and support.

Hello Tee, ☀️

Thank you. I need a lot of time alone and in peace. I’m an introvert and I kind of sense energies online too… I live a little outside of civilization, so I have the luxury of peace and quiet at home. 😊

I agree – my three siblings and I are completely different, both in character and appearance, and we all have the same parents. We also each have a completely different relationship with both of them.

I was afraid that a psychologist or psychiatrist would give me pills and that would be the end of me. Pills don’t solve the causes of trauma. I know that my social phobia was a traumatic reaction to bullying, especially beatings. I had many very painful and humiliating memories of being beaten up in public and no one helping me. 💔 On the contrary, some children even wished it on me or laughed at me. Our school was unfortunately very sick. There were a lot of neglected children. The boys were very aggressive.

I started EFT therapy (emotional freedom technique by Gary Craig) after I graduated high school. It’s a lot about working with emotions and sensations in the body that memories trigger. Today, these memories don’t bother me anymore, they don’t evoke anything in me, for me it’s a sign that the worst is over… but given how it was and how long it took, I can’t just erase some of the scars… As you wrote… conditioning…. maybe now it’s about having compassion and care for these scars. ❤️‍🩹 😊

The healing is actually lifelong. So, I continue… 😊

Somatic therapy sounds interesting. For a long time I couldn’t get rid of the body trembling – it was my body’s reaction. It kind of went away on its own, only when I really processed the pain in depth around the age of 5, when the bullying started. The healer (EFT coach) helped me with it.

I know that not everyone should do healing alone. If someone had a really difficult childhood, they shouldn’t work with their memories from childhood and inner child alone, but with a therapist. It doesn’t hurt me anymore because I have processed the worst, but I know very well that going back to the darkest memories is painful and difficult. Someone recently wrote to me, when we were discussing the inner child, that they go into psychosis when they return to childhood. So it’s very important to have someone to help us with this, certainly at least in the beginning, when our condition is still very serious.

Now, I focus a lot on mindfulness, meditation, and various simple exercises with my inner child. It comforts me and with thorough practice – every day – and allowing myself to be calm, I feel better and more grounded.

Do you want me to share some of these “exercises” with you in the future? It’s nothing difficult or special. Really. I just came up with my own things that work for me. 😊 But I rather ask if there’s anyone here who might be uncomfortable with the topic of the inner child. ❤️

Sending 🤗

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Hello Anita,

I will do my best to cocreate and promote safety and inclusivity in the forums, a place where everyone feels welcomed, respected, and valued.

so will I. 🤗 ❤️

See you later again!

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And yes, in Czechia it is still popular to use acorns, chicory or millet as a coffee substitute, but you must use a LOT of honey to make it drinkable. 😅

Sending ❤️

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Thank you, Anita, it is also one of my favourite songs. 🎺🎶

Are you going to dance this weekend? 😊

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Hello everyone,

I would like to share my feelings with you. ❤️

I decided that I would become less active here… and the one and only reason is that I need to get to know myself deeper. I know that I can connect with myself only when I am offline… in wild places where I feel connected, mindful, stable… Therefore, I will distance myself a bit.

But remember it is only because I am working on being a better person… in order to become a better friend for you all. ❤️

And one more thing:

FRESH BEGINNING
Of course we have made mistakes. Of course we have not been very skillful. Of course we have made ourselves and the people around us suffer. But that does not prevent us from improving, from transforming, from beginning anew. To begin anew is to look deeply and honestly at ourselves, our past actions, speech, and thoughts, and to create a fresh beginning within ourselves and in our relationships with others. The Buddha said that if you have not suffered, there is no way you can learn. We learn by making mistakes. We can begin anew at the last moment of the day and even at the last moment of our life. In one day, in twenty-four hours, you have hundreds of chances to begin anew.

❤️❤️❤️

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Yes, it does. Thank you. 🪷

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