Inspiration:

WHERE THE FIGHT BEGINS
When someone says something unkind to you, you may want to retaliate right away. That is where the fight begins. This habitual way of reacting creates a well-worn pathway in your brain. When you travel a neural pathway over and over again, it becomes a habit. Very often that pathway leads to anger, fear, or craving. One millisecond is enough for you to arrive at the same destination: anger and a desire to punish the person who has dared to make you suffer. The mind and the brain are plastic in nature. You can change your mind, your brain, and the way you think and feel. With practice, you can create new neural pathways that lead to understanding, compassion, love, and forgiveness. Mindfulness and insight can intervene, redirecting you down a new neural pathway.

I already know it’s worth reading. ❤️

🦋

I am reading The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching by Hanh again and I thought I could share this part about the seeds in our consciousness:

The practice of mindfulness helps us identify all the seeds in our consciousness and water the ones that are the most wholesome. When one person comes up to us, the very sight of him makes us uncomfortable. But when someone else walks by, we like her right away. Something in each of them touches a seed in us. If we love our mother deeply, but feel tense every time we think of our father, it is natural that when we see a young lady who looks like our mother, we will appreciate her, and when we see a man who evokes the memory of our father, we will feel uncomfortable. In this way, we can “see” the seeds that are in us – seeds of love for our mother and seeds of hurt vis-a-vis our father. When we become aware of the seeds in our storehouse, we will not be surprised by our own behavior or the behavior of others.

In Buddhism, there is something called “selective watering” – watering the wholesome seeds in our consciousness, and also protecting our senses from watering the unwholesome seeds from external sources. This helps me stay calmer and more balanced in hard times, but in heated conflicts I lose my ground and I cannot fully concentrate and make mistakes.

Any ideas, thoughts, tips, advice, experiences? 😊

Maybe I’ll find some thoughts and tips in the book How to Fight during the weekend. I’ll share some. ❤️

🦋

Wonderful. Let’s move on, please. 🙏 You can start your own thread, Anita, or continue in the journal. 😉

EvFran, I will discuss privately my subjective feelings about the conflict and my concerns for which there is no more power here. People are too tired. And as you said… two people could come to a satisfying agreement. The problem is that it doesn’t include only two people. But it is enough for now. 🙏

But I am here for Brandy or others: silvery8blue@gmail.com

And of course, you can comment on these points. I would like to hear your ideas:

– how tactfully articulate our needs and boundaries without feeling like we are hurting others or ourselves
– how to learn how to remain compassionate and considerate when we feel hurt
– when we feel hurt, ignored, how properly work with these feelings (maybe tips, sources, …?)
– healthy boundaries which don’t isolate us from others (maybe try to formulate some of them?)
– any specific examples from your real lives, if you are willing to share them and want to discuss them and find some support

🦋

I am reading some buddhist texts. I hope I will find some useful advice and inspiration to share here.

If you are interested, there is a video on youtube “Protect Yourself And You will protect others…” by Buddhism in English. I am thinking about it a lot now. 😊

I live in an area that was once inhabited by Celts. People still keep this tradition today and during the summer you often meet enthusiasts dressed in typical Celtic clothing with weapons or musical instruments from that time. There is also a big Celtic festival in the summer, full of food, drink, traditions and music.

There are many places, for example a reconstructed Celtic town, but also a few “magical” places in nature… There is a place where people believe that the Druids performed blood sacrifices. It is an open place in nature, but when you walk through it, you feel sadness, pain, … Really, even people who are not very sensitive say about this place that there is great sadness “in the air”… It isn’t even recommended to visit this place alone!

I have my own personal place in the woods… There is a small moraine, a small hill from ancient stones and a little stream surrounded by very old trees. The place is very dark, damp and cold, but it radiates something beautiful… innocence, goodness, peace… when I rest there I always feel that I am in touch with my ancient ancestors, maybe not even humans… and it gives me a very special energy, very deep and peaceful feelings. ❤️

I’m going to visit it this weekend again. 😊

Alessa,

the oldie song reminded me of my favourite one from Sinatra – That’s Life:

That’s life!
That’s what all the people say
You’re riding high in April, shot down in May
But I know I’m gonna change that tune
When I’m back on top, back on top in June
🤸
I said that’s life!
And as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks
Stomping on a dream
But I don’t let it, let it get me down
‘Cause this fine old world, it keeps spinnin’ around
🌍
I’ve been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet
A pawn and a king
I’ve been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing
Each time I find myself
Flat on my face
I pick myself up and get
Back in the race
💪
That’s life!
I tell you, I can’t deny it
I thought of quitting, baby
But my heart just ain’t gonna buy it
And if I didn’t think it was worth one single try
I’d jump right on a big bird and then I’d fly
🪁
I’ve been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet
A pawn and a king
I’ve been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing
Each time I find myself layin’
Flat on my face
I just pick myself up and get
Back in the race
😎
That’s life!
That’s life and I can’t deny it
Many times I thought of cutting out, but my heart won’t buy it
But if there’s nothing shaking, come this here July
I’m gonna roll myself up
In a big ball and die
😂

It always makes my day. Or definitely:

Here’s a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don’t worry
Be happy
❤️
In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don’t worry
Be happy, don’t worry, be happy now
❤️
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy
❤️
Ain’t got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don’t worry
Be happy
❤️
The landlord say your rent is late
He may have to litigate
But don’t worry
Be happy, look at me, I’m happy
❤️
Don’t worry, be happy (Hey, I’ll give you my phone number, when you worry, call me, I’ll make you happy)
Don’t worry, be happy
❤️
Ain’t got no cash, ain’t got no style
Ain’t got no gal to make you smile
But don’t worry
Be happy
❤️
‘Cause when you worry, your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
So don’t worry
Be happy, don’t worry, be happy now
❤️
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy
❤️
Now there is the song I wrote
I hope you learned it note for note, like good little children
Don’t worry
Be happy
❤️
Now listen to what I said, in your life expect some trouble
But when you worry, you make it double
But don’t worry
Be happy, be happy now
❤️
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy
❤️
Don’t worry, don’t worry, don’t do it, be happy
Put a smile on your face
Don’t bring everybody down like this
Don’t worry, it will soon pass, whatever it is
Don’t worry, be happy
I’m not worried
I’m happy

❤️ 😊 ❤️