Anita, so please, let me. I try so hard. I really want to connect.

But I just feel rejected when you don’t want to discuss things with me. I don’t know what you mean. And when I don’t know what you mean, it cannot resonate, I cannot relate when I know so little.

I am not an enemy, either. I will not judge you. I wish I could understand your point of you better. It doesn’t matter if it resonates, because I will try to at least understand. I will not reject that idea. I will not minimize your feelings.

I know it is the vulnerability. I know that you might be scared. But I will not hurt you anymore. I spent some time with people with trauma and difficulties. I am more compasionate, more aware of the fact that people suffer too much and that the suffering has different shapes, forms and degrees… I respect it and I know that only that suffering is the source of these misunderstandings. Not people, or their feelings.

It is that I myself am met with a form of rejection from you… when you write only these short sentences, which read that you don’t want to connect.

What can I do then?

Do you remember? You wanted to make this place bigger… I really wish we could.

I can give you space. You can think about it and let me know later.

I am still open. I was just caught in a moment of my emotions. I need to control myself… I know that it wasn’t rejection… just my emotions read it as rejection…

Alessa 🫂 ❤️

Hello Anita and Alessa,

Thank you for your warm welcome. I didn’t expect it.

I am glad that you feel affection for me, Anita. Especially after I left you with pain when I wrote to you that you were not healing. I apologize for being unskilful.

I did it out of my own frustration and you didn’t deserve to be at the end of it. I shoud have taken better care of my own feelings so that I didn’t hurt others.

I am more mindful. I am more responsible for my own emotions today. And I am finding ways how to be compassionate with myself and others at the same time when times are tough.

I believe that vulnerability and humility should be an invitation for being genuine and open. It’s a great honor when somebody offers me their true heart. ❤️

What specifically do you mean about the fake words, Anita?
I can see that you have been a bit upset by these words, Alessa?

Do you think that we could find a way how to discuss this openly, politely and with compassion? Maybe… it’s a test. It is a great opportunity how to cultivate compassion with ourselves and others.

However, there is no need to rush. I suggest we take a break, go for a walk, spend time with loved ones and come back with relaxed mind. 🤗

I’ll do that. I’ll be back on Monday.

🦋