Hello Wisp,

Matt really beautifully gives you some good pointers which I hope are already giving you comfort and relief.

I really feel for where you are right now. You sound so scared and confused and our natural instinct is to want to flee from the pain and discomfort and how it manifests ourselves in our lives. You are coming apart at the seams and it’s a terrifying experience but reading between the lines you are more than able to deal with this. Your mind becomes your enemy as your thoughts race through it (like Matt says). If I could offer any advice (and I’m qualified in no sense of the word other than as another human being who can empathise) then it would be face into the fury around you. You are more than any emotion or thought and you can master what you think to give you a degree of calm and peace. I agree that you get to a point where you feel like you are going crazy and that it will never end. I read somewhere that when this happens, what is really the case is that you are ready to transform and that it what you are experiencing is really an opportunity….however, when you are in that situation it sure doesn’t feel like it! You have no clarity, you can’t breath (literally sometimes), there is nowhere to turn or escape to, the future seems as hopeless as the now….we are wrong. Matt is right, you need to take some time to breath again and come back to yourself. You have had a tough time and a lot to cope with so show the same compassion to yourself that you would to another in the same situation. Your husband sounds like he understands and he can help you more…let him. You’ve obviously been there for him and now let him love you back.

Wisp – breath! This is a gift (although it probably doesn’t feel like it) to transform yourself and how you view/approach life. It’s not easy and so many people can’t accept the ‘gift’ because it is so uncomfortable but I urge you to press on and through. You WILL be okay and I say this only because where you were, I have been and if I can survive you can too, because I’m no better than you. I don’t have any special powers or circumstances that helped me. In fact, I’m still in those ‘circumstances’ that brought me to my knees but for the first time in my life (grand old age of 45) I have the clarity to see life from a clearer vantage point…and even though nothing is different outside I’ve never felt so calm and able to cope.

My thoughts are with you and I can only follow on from Matt and tell you to follow your path.

With much love and encouragement – SkinSkanx