Hi Faber,

I came across your post when I was searching for ways to ease my stress at work.

I do not believe you are co-dependent. I believe that your needs are absolutely normal and not exagerrated. The behavior you described doesn’t mean that your boyfriend is “wrong” for being who he is, it just means that he really is not a match for you. I hope you broke up with him by now. If you don’t, it will only become worse on the long term because he is who he is and things like that only get worse in a long term relationship.

I am in a similar situation with my husband. However, when we were dating, he was not like this. I knew he wasn’t as over the top as other people I have dated, but he was plenty romantic and was meeting my needs. However, he got worse and worse and worse with the passing of time. Now there is no sex at all, but also no cuddling, romance, nothing of the sort, and I’m telling you this is hearbreaking. I know he is a good person and I know he loves me, but this is not something I wish you experienced. I get that you dated a lot and were probably dissapointed a lot, but the sooner you let this man go, the sooner you will find the one who will be happy to touch you and tell you he loves you. You deserve better than someone who can’t offer the affection you need. Regardless of how much you could understand what love language he has and how different it is from yours, you will not be happy with him because you two are not a match.