Dear Ecotone,

First, I am sorry someone cheated on you, glad you got out of that relationship. She did not appreciate you and know that it doesn’t matter how nice you were she didn’t value a good man. With that said please don’t stop being a nice guy. For the next one coming along is not fair, because the next person you date is not your ex. I was in a relationship where I was paying for things someone else did and it took me a while to figure that out. That person is no longer with me his insecurities got in the way.

This woman that got really upset at you and couldn’t take your joke is not the right one for you. Who wants to walk on eggshells cause she doesn’t get your humor. It seems you were handling one person/date at a time but she wasn’t? Some of my friends are like in a rush cause they are reaching mid 30 so they reject guys left and right over little things.

I am on E-harmony. At first I answered the “get to know you questionnaires” and to my surprise some guys would not finish the exchange, it had a couple of steps. Maybe some did not like my answers, which is perfectly fine that is what it is designed for. I did go to the coffee shops like Anita but only for the it’s a public place, a casual thing and if there is a connection we can set time to go on a date. I am recently divorced and got matched with a good friend of mine who also went through divorce. We ended up dating for a while on and off and are still together, we were hurt in many ways and have been each others support. He had the same complaint as you that no one answered. My profile in e-H is still up I have the year subscription and I have not been on it for a long time. I don’t know how to “pause” it or say that I am in a relationship. I keep getting emails that so and so wants to get to know me. The point I am trying to make is that maybe some of the people that don’t answer are already in a relationship trying it out with someone or simply did not find you to be what they are looking for. I see these sites as a means to meet people whom you would not have the chance to otherwise. Not necessarily to date right of the back. To me is hard to base character from an online profile but a part of me is afraid of meeting a psychopath.

Don’t get discouraged, be happy with yourself. When you enjoy yourself you radiate and that is attractive. Good luck!