I have been really busy at office. Thanks to you for always listening to my rants. I forget to mention your name. Apart from my family  only you know my mental health struggles. I dont discuss my problems with my friends. My indian friends dont understand mental health issues so I dont talk about these issues to them. You have a really made a difference in my life by helping me navigate through some of my  toughest times of my life.

Hey Anita, I am doing great. How are you doing ? I was thinking about you yesterday. I have made peace with my friend and  stopped expecting from her. We still meet for the sake of our kids. I dont want to get close again and get hurt. We went to Disney last week and had a wonderful time. My husbands brother came over so my little had a great time with her cousin. My little one is so cute and full of life. Once I came home from Disney , the other day I was crying thinking about how my little is growing up so fast. I feel like the days are going by so fast once started going to school since last year. On the other hand I am worried about getting old, retirement and old age. I am still in my mid thirties lol. Just thinking how lonely it would be. My kid will move out. I I hate being alone because of my anxiety. I feel good when I am surrounded by people.

How did you overcome that empty feeling ?

Sometimes I want to relocate to a different house so that I dont think about her anymore. It  feels like a friendship breakup which hit me hard this time. I had 2 friends who ignored me like this in the past few years I got over them. I dont know why this one feels tough. I have only one friend left in the city. I dont trust her anymore I know she would do the same. I just dont want anymore friends. My husband is only my best friend that I trust now. He is the best and I love him. I am spending more time with my daughter and husband. But sometimes I feel so empty that we are just 3 of us and dont have friends to hang out with. That feeling is so weird. Then I look at social media and feel bad that how come people have so many friends.

Lol. She has zero knowledge about mental health or therapists.

lol.After two weeks of our conversation, my neighbor tried to set up a play date. I said no because we already visited that place with my other friend. I didnt call my neighbor at that time because of how she archived my chats and I didnt want to talk her. Anyways other day, my little one saw my neighbors daughter and she ran to her house to play with  her. I had to go her house as I didnt have any other choice. My little one was  missing her badly so I set up  a play date. When I asked my neighbors daughter if she would like to join us for skating she said she would be busy with her other group of friends. I realized in the moment my friend could not admit the fact that she is busy with her other group of friends but her kiddo straight up told me that her friends would be coming over or she would be busy with them during the weekend. I still put my ego aside for the sake of my daughter my planned  a play date for both of them and they said yes. It was awkward and I felt like our friendship is not same as it was  before. I still could sense that she is still angry with me. I still miss her and keep thinking about her. She has move don and having fun with her freinds.

I am doing ok. Winters are quite depressing in US.

Thanks for that Anita!