Thanks for your suggestion Anita. I will look into it. Now a days I dont have the motivation to do anything. I just feel so tired. I got my blood work done to see what’s going on.

I dont want to be a very strict parent but at the same time I dont want to let loose.

I think about too much about everything but then I feel so lost.

I have come across reddit group about indian kids brought up in America rant about their Indian parents like they are so strict.
They dont get to wear what they want or drink alcohol/ do drugs but they get to do it when they leave to college. I have also seen comment from a kid where he left his religion because they were so strict. How do they dont fit in with thier peers because they dont drink. Some even stop talking to thier parents.

My parents weren’t that religious but my peers used to scare me that if I dont obey GOD he will send me to hell. That has really impacted me when I became an adult. It has haunted for me years and still haunts me. Sometimes I feel like I cant be myself and at the same time the fear has helped me to stay from alcohol/drugs. I feel like I dont want to scare my kid in that away. I want her to stay away from the things that I dont like. Like wearing clothes which exposes thier body parts, drinking alcohol, hook ups and all these things. I dont know how to do that without scaring her. I feeling like moving back to India.

Thank you for sharing your experience Anita! I have been eating healthy food and I am feeling better. Then I go down hill. Its hard to keep up with the diet. For its mostly the SPICY food that triggers my gut.

I have been working remote once a week. I feel like my ocd/anxiety acting up on these days. I feel good when I go to office as I am surrounded by people.

I feel like I dont like my own company or staying alone because of this anxiety.

Oh yeah. I have IBS too. I never had any digestive issues in India.
Once we moved to US in 2015. Thats when it started. I never used laxatives as it never impacted my life. I didnt have anxiety when we moved here, so I dont know why it started.

For me it used to be IBS-C and it never effected my life until 2020.My anxiety became worst at that time. I dont know what has changed. Now i have a combination of both ibs c and d for the past couple of years.

He will give the work which i find interesting and fun.

Lol.. I was thinking about something else for the past two weeks. There was an internal job position opened in our company. I thought about it for a week non stop. I wanted to apply but i was so anxious about change. Finally I made the decision to apply for it last Monday then I told my manager about it on Tuesday. My manager talked me out of it. I told him about my concerns and he reassured that I will get to work on something that makes me happy. I changed my mind and didnt want to apply for that internal job.

I keep telling myself all these things but still the anxiety gets the best out me 🙁

Thanks for listening to my rants Anita! I have veen comparing myself alot to others lately.My teammate whom i worked with on sql has left the team because hse was not happy with the work. She left after two years working in our company.Here I am stuck at the same company. I feel like i have no growth here since 2023.I always complain to my husband about this.Yet i didnt make any efforts since august 2023 to move out.Giving interviews is hard for me because of my social anxiety.On the hand the girl who is 10 younger than me left when she wanted.Here i am stuck in the same shit for the past one and half year. The other thing is my neighbor has lot of friends now. We have indian cultural event and we both are performing a dance together. Now i meet her often as I have to practice.I see that she is always busy with her new group either they make plans or she makes plans for meeting them.I feel so jealous that she whole lot of friends.I feel bad for feeling this way.They all belong to the same caste. It looks like they formed the group based on the caste.I remember dealing with people with same mind set when i was graduating in india.Casteism is still a huge thing in a india.I had a friend who formed a group based on the caste and i used to be part of it.I used to feel left sometimes because they were close as they belong to same caste.I know the same thing would happen even if i join that group.Its just like race in us. I never felt that racism in the team that I am working right now.I feel people here are more sensitive to such issues.In india its a common thing nobody thinks its wrong.