Yes, it does help me study by posting here. After all I cannot bottle up my depression inside for long and I need some outlet. Otherwise I just am not in a right state of mind to study, let alone clearing a tough exam. Just today I had a test and I realized I did 20×3=80 at one place. Mistakes like this can cost a terrible price in the actual exam… and I don’t even know how to do the harder ones in this condition. Some friends recommended meditation and deep breathing, but I am not good at it. Every time I try, all the thoughts you know of buzz around in my head and I’m not able to clear them out.

In the morning I lost my temper over mom, let slip a few bad words when she began the “We’re really worried about your studies” lecture again. I feel really guilty because I had hoped after last week’s effort, I must’ve controlled my inner demons somewhat. Evidently it isn’t so. Punishing myself by avoiding snacks today.