Dear Jeff:

I would tell her family members the truth. Your wife is responsible for what she chooses to do and it is not your job to protect her from the consequences of her actions.

If you go to her place of employment to cause her to maybe lose her job, well that is going beyond letting her (enjoy and) suffer the consequences of her actions, it is creating consequences by your initiative. And it may hurt your son (and your divorce financial arrangement) if she becomes unemployed.

But I would tell the truth, just the facts. Again, no need to initiate much commentary on the bare facts. But keeping secrets… no.

anita