Good morning Anita,

I was not convicted or charged in the theft. However once you are fired for theft your name is placed in a database that is shared by retailers. Once your name is on that list it is save to say you are done in retail for the next 7 years regardless of circumstances.

It is a long story but prior to my being fired I actually resigned. I still have the letter of resignation that was sent to my district manager. My last day I was offered to go to another store. Prior to my finding out the offer is when I decided to take the item. I am not justifying my actions by any means with this next statement. I had done numerous transfers for the company which I was never paid for.

I could have been paid for the mileage but did not want to go through 4 forms of documentation, signatures, DNA samples and the rest only to have to wait 2 to 3 weeks if I was lucky to be reimbursed. It’s funny how they trust you to take the merchandise deliver it and so on but getting paid for it takes a few weeks to get it back. This was the first company I have ever had problems with for being reimbursed for mileage. In all honesty I could have taken a few more items and would have broke even.

Rage, anger, confusion, stress and aggravation took over and I got stupid plain and simple. I should have left when I sent the letter of resignation and been done with it not to mention not having to worry about my next line of work.

As far as to what I am thinking of doing? Honestly I have no idea. I have never felt so drained, embarrassed and empty in my life. There are things I can do I suppose but I have no want or desire to do so. In many ways I have come to a point where I no longer care. I have fallen pretty deep so far but I haven’t hit bottom yet… 2 weeks or less and I will have hit bottom.

I am a very proud person. I am staying with a friend now but hate every minute being there. I don’t feel it is right that some one should have to take care of me when I should be doing it myself. I have lost a couple of friends because of this for not accepting help from them. That is a whole other story though but before things went south I was reminded how I have done nothing but refuse the help that has been offered by them, how I refuse to help myself and how I should not blame others or circumstances surrounding others on my situation… That’s what honesty got me and speaking for the moment.

Living wise… Please don’t laugh but I am honestly thinking of just going my own way and see what happens. I guess you could say a bum of sorts but I assure you I am far to proud to beg, my stealing days are over and I honestly don’t wish to be around people any longer.

Though I am not properly educated I am smart enough to take care of myself and provide for myself. I have honestly been contemplating going down to Arizona and make a living for my self alone for a while. Maybe the time soul searching will help then again it might not. Won’t know unless I take that chance. We will see what happens.
If I suddenly disappear you know where I am and the choice I made.

Mike