Hello Jedaja,

Sometimes time and space are needed in order to sort things out and get a better sense of ones own feelings and understanding of the situation. I have been on the cheated end more than once in my life. I have never cheated or disrespected any of my partners. My last 2 relationships ended because of such reasons. 1 lasted for 8 years and in that time I was cheated on twice by the same person.

The first time though it hurt me tremendously I tried to work things out. I was willing to talk or do what ever it took in order to keep us together. 8 years is a long time, not only was it a long time but it was also many great times. Sadly all the trying and effort did not matter. It happened a second time and by then my hurt was unbearable. I would have more than likely tried again but managed to convince myself that it was over between us.

The second relationship that lasted 2 years was different in circumstances but it still had the same outcome. I caught her in the act. We were texting back and forth while I was confirming my suspicions. In those texts I was told how much I was loved and how much I was missed. I had asked where she was and she replied at a clients house. She immediately got defensive and asked why I was asking where she was. I replied with a picture of her car at his apartment.

I still tried with her to work things out. I was told by her that she was there with others and not alone with him. Once doubt is placed in your mind it is very difficult to get rid of it or hold it at bay. It also makes you lose faith in the one you love and that doubt has the tendency to follow you through out your next relationships.

I would suggest trying the time and space. You have said that this has happened before to both of you and by both of you. I would suggest some serious soul searching on both parts. Why are you both cheating on each other and for what reasons. I am no expert but it sounds like something is missing and you both are seeking it from others. Look inside and find out what that missing thing is and confront each other about it. Work on finding it in yourselves other than finding it from someone else.

Time and space as difficult as that may be is worth a try for both of you. If you have friends talk with them about things because it will keep you from going insane wanting to talk and text with him. You are using this forum as well. Let that help you as well.

I hope my words help you and I wish you both the best.