Dear idonno:

I am glad you will be trying to find your own happiness whether with her or not. You deeply love her but you are looking at what is going on, different angles of reality. People often see what they need to see and close their eyes to what is distressing to look at, that doesn’t lead to making good choices. So keep seeing What Is and please do post again if it helps, as I hope it will, with difficult emotions. Best wishes to you!

anita