Dear Ravi:

In the example of the lion and the jackals, the lion does not attack the jackals who are growling outside its den because their growling doesn’t bother him. He does not perceive it as danger and therefore he feels no fear nor anger. So he is not motivated to attack them.

Regarding your last paragraph, “if someone offers you something and you refuse to accept it, they have to keep it with themselves. I can’t think right now of any example where it is true. If someone gives you a gift and you refuse to accept it, the giver doesn’t have to keep it, he can say: “throw it in the trash then” or say nothing at all, simply not take the gift back. As far as someone bumping into you and not apologizing, if you say nothing, the person who bumped into you and disregarded maybe hurting you, that is not caring, will go on his way more encouraged than before to repeat the same behavior, or will go on as if nothing happened.

About spitting at the sky, depending on the angle and the wind, the spit may or may not fall on the person’s face.

These examples, all three of them are what I call “convenient thinking”- in this case these are ways of thinking that are not correct, not true, but make you feel better about not asserting yourself.

The truth is that you don’t assert yourself with many, including the guy who bumped into you, because you are afraid. But you feel better if you say to yourself: it is wise to not react. I am not reacting because I am wise (not scared).

You attacked Jerry repeatedly because you were not afraid of her, because when you attacked her, she apologized to you. it was safe to attack her. So your anger found a safe expression.

There is no substitution to courage. Only courage will make you strong and confident. Convenient thinking will not make you strong. Only when you practice courage. Then you find yourself standing strong and tall, and you feel on top of the world!

anita