myotherme,

I felt I needed to respond just to tell you I did read your post all the way through, and while we don’t know each other personally, I care about you as another human being who is hurting and who was brave enough to post something completely honest and vulnerable. You’ve come to the right place for empathy and understanding. No matter how complicated and messed up you THINK your life is, it has value. You have value. Don’t give up on yourself or this life. It’s never too late to learn and grow and heal and be happy. Hugs to you!