Dear ashbandicute:

Imagining myself in your place, in the situation as you described it in the short post above, I can see myself feeling very insecure and uncomfortable, threatened and angry at the boyfriend’s relationship with the other woman, especially since they already kissed.

I too would want to know the nature of his attachment to her, the nature of his feelings for her. And i think I would have the right to know.

When he said he doesn’t have feelings for her, he meant sexual attraction/ a desire for a relationship involving physical intimacy, correct? Well, if so, then what is the nature of his feelings for her?

He does have feelings for her. It is very possible that his feelings for her are of a kind that present no danger to you. The thing is, I would want to know. So ask him: what are the feelings he has for her? What does he get out of the daily communication with her?

Ask and listen intently. When you ask him, make sure you are not blaming him for anything, that you are only looking for information, wanting to understand his feelings and motivations. Then take his answer in, evaluate it, and continue the conversation with him, as you need to.

Please post again with more thoughts, feelings and hopefully an update following asking him.

anita