Thanks Anita. Means a lot to me. Sadly no matter what I am, does not change what I did. I’m sure even if someone asks her about me, she’ll say this same thing because she’s so sweet and compassionate. But I don’t feel when she thinks of me, she can forget my toxic words even if she doesn’t tell anyone. And I don’t feel the dragon in me has subsided yet. Just today I was wondering whether she’s forgotten me or she still thinks of me sometimes. The voice in my head answered – “Why would she think of someone like you who hurt her so much? She must be happy with her brother who always cares for her and makes her relaxed, unlike you.” I thought I had gotten over that insecurity. Apparently it isn’t so. 🙁 Maybe because I know how much she loved me and I only gave her pain and depression in return.

I got to know my friend who had sent her our convo met with an accident, and is in hospital. I’m extremely disturbed and praying for her recovery, feeling so bad that I had stopped talking to her. She may have been careless, but she surely meant no harm and I consider her as good as a sister. My dad has this habit of sitting behind with me with a gloomy expression if I don’t study properly… he doesn’t say anything, just hopes I take notice and go to study. Today even that was irritating me as I was so disturbed due to these double issues. Scarcely faced a worse time in my life thus far.