I agree, Anita. That’s just what I felt, what you wrote in the first paragraph. I could not be a stronger Ravi or independent Ravi, however, because at the end of the day we both faced the limitation of communicating online only. Via phone or computer. It’s the people I am living with who have had the power to decide what I act like and truthfully speaking, even if I had been in an offline relationship physically, I don’t feel I could maintain it because of how I am restricted at my place. In fact, did not even realize that my anger stems from my upbringing until I discussed with you. In a way, this present painful situation has exposed to me the roots of these flaws that had always been within me, and given me a chance to eliminate them.

I believe that anything in the world, when approached and treated in the wrong manner, can become an obsession/sickness. Doesn’t make it objectively bad. I do not want my loving, understanding and unique relation to become an obsession or sickness. At the very least, I owe it to her to ensure it does not become that. Therefore I am now trying to push away the obsession and focus on assertiveness, positivity and everything we discussed thus far. I’m controlling myself and focusing on studies to ensure that my love doesn’t degrade anymore into an obsession/sickness, and after my exams, once again becomes what it once was.

I just wish I had some way of giving my inner voice a big, hot, strong cup of “STFU” so it did not goad me into doing wrong things in life.