Dear sona:

You are welcome. You can write next week or before, if you’d like. We can communicate here for as long as you want.

That hollow feeling following a session, I think I am familiar with that kind of feeling and the need to recover. Looking back at my life before my first successful therapy five years ago, i remember that feeling attached to anyone disturbed and distressed me so much that I needed to stop contact with whomever I felt attached to so to regain a feeling of safety, that was my own resetting. When I felt attached, it felt heavenly for a short while, as if I was safe, a dream like state… but then, being away from that temporary object of my attachment (often a stranger, really)- all hell broke loose in my mind. The distress was too intense.

It reminds me of being away from my mother when I was young, how unbearable it was. I remember that fear of being away from her. Maybe that fear was the trigger for the distress in me following the experience of every single attachment.

Feeling attached itself signaled danger for me. In my mind there was a strong connection between feeling attached and danger.

I think it is the pain my mother inflicted on me that hurt so much because I was attached to her, hence attachment and pain became strongly associated.

Do you relate to this…?

anita