Dear JVR:

In your original post you wrote: “He always dictates and I always…finally end up doing exactly whatever he wants me to do.. Literally like a puppet… and all he said, was he was doing everything for my own good and I would get a good life and be respectable by everyone..”

Pay attention, JVR:

Your father created a puppet, a submissive person. You were not born a puppet… you were born to be assertive, your own person. He trained you to be a puppet. Regardless of his intentions, was his doing a loving thing? Is it loving to bring a little person into the world and then make a puppet out of him?

And then: he said “he was doing everything for (your) own good”- did it turn out that way? Has his training you to obey his commands turn out to be for your own good?

You are 39 and still in contact with your father. Has it been in practice for your own good all these years? Did he not notice it was not working for your own good and change his behavior?

He promised you that “I would get a good life and be respectable by everyone..” Did it turn out this way?

If you answer these questions honestly, following thinking and feeling about this, that will be your first step at extricating yourself from the puzzle-fit I mentioned before.

Please do post again.

anita